Dying

When i say i want to die, u know, i don't really. I just feel it would be nice if i am dead at this instance, then i can rest as much as i want, geez what a lazy slut i am.... Apart from the very bad situation i'm in now, with all that skin problems, i generally still love my life here, although everything is like not in control and wiggle woggle all the time, it is interesting.

Before i came here, whenever i feel like dying, i would start thinking which way to get there. Crazy little me used to write about my own suicide process, like how i press the cold blade onto my throbbing veins, blood flow out of the wound and roam across the table.... which is funny when i think about it now. The main purpose actually, is because writing this can help me to practice on my essay. But the feeling of writing my own suicide essay is quite unique, so dizzy and deep into imagination i was, and then there comes the feeling like i'm insane.

But anyhow, i never point a knife on my wrist or feel like want to jump down from my balcony, i still treasure my life, for my parents and this world that is sometimes beautiful. Sometimes when we feel like dying and then we see something so beautiful, it touches our heart and makes us regret.