Was doing my animate homework and feel kind of bored so i walked around and looked out to the beautiful sky, reminds me of a song from "Sweeney Tod". The girl was trapped by her guardian in the house, she longed for the life outside of this 'cage', she have some pet birds, so she sang to them.
Green finch and Linnet bird, Nightingale, Black bird
Teach me how to sing,
How do you jubilate sitting in cages, never taking wing?
Outside the sky waves, backoning, backoning
Just beyond the bars,
How is it you sing, tempered by the rain, maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing anything?
How is it you sing?
-----Part of the movie "Sweeney Tod".
The sky is so blue i just wish i can fly to them. =P
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
tooth plushes
Sunday, January 23, 2011
My stupid skin
As everyone know, i have to stop my studies because of my stupid skin problems, i didn't think i will have to come to this point, to stop school. The few days before my holiday starts, were the worst days of my life, i was alone, i can barely said i have a housemate, my skin falling apart and i myself can't bare the sight of my skin. I covered most of the infected areas of my skin, so i wear long sleeves and quarter pants everyday even at home. But the most unbearable of all, was the medicine i took, they make me go crazy, i cannot concentrate and all i want to do is to watch movies, to get away from this reality.
When i finally get home, my parents and family were sad to see me this way, they look for a thousand remedies to cure me, especially my dad, he was restless. Some of the remedies bring pain to my skin, cause it was all wounded, and because i had stopped taking all the medicines, it became hard for me to sleep, and i woke up in the middle of the night to scratch until i bleed. There goes the first 2 weeks of my holiday, slow and tear-full.
Because i want to stop school, i have to go back and settle my rented room. I have to admit it was very dusty, well, i was lazy and my fingers are full of wounds i don't dare to touch water. However, i feel the main reason is because my skin was so dry, when i scratch it brittle like biscuits all over the floor and everywhere else. I was scolded by my brother and everyone else because of the dust, which i didn't even want to explain to them afterwords. At first, i don't understand why i didn't try to explain myself, and i just found the answer today.( I'm real slow huh) I didn't explain because they already want to accuse me before i say anything, they already make me feel bad, what is the need of explaining? It won't reverse my feelings back, no it never will and i will only remember this forever.
Well, those scoldings just make me feel bad for a while, and i ignore them after that, because i know they still love me and its the same from me to them. I write all this down so that i will remember all these after i recover, remember my hell so i will be in heaven when i reach earth.
If you have been through heaven, earth is hell; if you have been through hell, earth is heaven.
When i finally get home, my parents and family were sad to see me this way, they look for a thousand remedies to cure me, especially my dad, he was restless. Some of the remedies bring pain to my skin, cause it was all wounded, and because i had stopped taking all the medicines, it became hard for me to sleep, and i woke up in the middle of the night to scratch until i bleed. There goes the first 2 weeks of my holiday, slow and tear-full.
Because i want to stop school, i have to go back and settle my rented room. I have to admit it was very dusty, well, i was lazy and my fingers are full of wounds i don't dare to touch water. However, i feel the main reason is because my skin was so dry, when i scratch it brittle like biscuits all over the floor and everywhere else. I was scolded by my brother and everyone else because of the dust, which i didn't even want to explain to them afterwords. At first, i don't understand why i didn't try to explain myself, and i just found the answer today.( I'm real slow huh) I didn't explain because they already want to accuse me before i say anything, they already make me feel bad, what is the need of explaining? It won't reverse my feelings back, no it never will and i will only remember this forever.
Well, those scoldings just make me feel bad for a while, and i ignore them after that, because i know they still love me and its the same from me to them. I write all this down so that i will remember all these after i recover, remember my hell so i will be in heaven when i reach earth.
If you have been through heaven, earth is hell; if you have been through hell, earth is heaven.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Dying
When i say i want to die, u know, i don't really. I just feel it would be nice if i am dead at this instance, then i can rest as much as i want, geez what a lazy slut i am.... Apart from the very bad situation i'm in now, with all that skin problems, i generally still love my life here, although everything is like not in control and wiggle woggle all the time, it is interesting.
Before i came here, whenever i feel like dying, i would start thinking which way to get there. Crazy little me used to write about my own suicide process, like how i press the cold blade onto my throbbing veins, blood flow out of the wound and roam across the table.... which is funny when i think about it now. The main purpose actually, is because writing this can help me to practice on my essay. But the feeling of writing my own suicide essay is quite unique, so dizzy and deep into imagination i was, and then there comes the feeling like i'm insane.
But anyhow, i never point a knife on my wrist or feel like want to jump down from my balcony, i still treasure my life, for my parents and this world that is sometimes beautiful. Sometimes when we feel like dying and then we see something so beautiful, it touches our heart and makes us regret.
Before i came here, whenever i feel like dying, i would start thinking which way to get there. Crazy little me used to write about my own suicide process, like how i press the cold blade onto my throbbing veins, blood flow out of the wound and roam across the table.... which is funny when i think about it now. The main purpose actually, is because writing this can help me to practice on my essay. But the feeling of writing my own suicide essay is quite unique, so dizzy and deep into imagination i was, and then there comes the feeling like i'm insane.
But anyhow, i never point a knife on my wrist or feel like want to jump down from my balcony, i still treasure my life, for my parents and this world that is sometimes beautiful. Sometimes when we feel like dying and then we see something so beautiful, it touches our heart and makes us regret.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
My sem 4 print making record. Project 1
Burden 3
Burden 1
Burden 2
Tests.
I like these hands. Well, din get to use em tho.
My first attempt in tone etching and rubbing.
All the limbs in a line. Super fast rubbing! =D
Fail: Both colo and etch board has the same size.
Etched tones.
Rubbed tones.
Without tones.These are my print making artworks for my second year, 4th semester. I wanted to do local fairy tales as my main theme at first, but i feel so unexcited when i have everything fixed down, so i decided to throw that away and try to start by doing experiments. I love the effects of etching, so i conduct experiments using etching, mainly using hard ground. Next, is to find something to combine with etching. Monoprint was too strong, it is mostly good enough by itself and i can't control it to be the same everytime i print them. So i merge it with colograph, which worked! And then what continues is endless rubbing on those boards. Quite a nightmare, but i love them still.
Burden series- The idea was not with me when i started, it just grow when i move along in making them. It is about how we pick up burdens in our life, we think it is something protective to us, but it is making us into weird creatures.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
My parents
As i walk along the road to school, it was shiny, everything looks the same as i left it on Friday, the only difference is how the sun looks at them. The shadows are long and purple.
This is it, the path to art and design, and i'm walking on it. I thought of my parents somehow, they used to say, 'It's alright even if you ended up as a factory worker or a hawker, different kinds of man power is needed in this society.' They love me dearly i know, and i believe they love me more than any other parents would love their child. The knowledge they gave me, rides inside me until now, this is how i feel they are different. I even feel weird when i still look through these eyes of mine like everyone else, but feel and touch this world in a distinctive way, in my parent's way.
My parents are not highly educated, they barely made it through primary school, however, the way they look at life is so complete and i can tell they are still learning. Sometimes they just have to stop and reconsider their decisions, to think and learn from a situation they have never imagined. I think this is something not everyone is capable of, most of the times people just stick onto what they believe in and never try to accept anything else. People tend to condemn things or situations, make things impossible or create sharp edges. To my parents, anything is possible and they are just capable to make every edges soft.
Now that i'm 400km away from them, their presence in my heart are clearer than ever and i would want to keep and protect them no matter where i go.
This is it, the path to art and design, and i'm walking on it. I thought of my parents somehow, they used to say, 'It's alright even if you ended up as a factory worker or a hawker, different kinds of man power is needed in this society.' They love me dearly i know, and i believe they love me more than any other parents would love their child. The knowledge they gave me, rides inside me until now, this is how i feel they are different. I even feel weird when i still look through these eyes of mine like everyone else, but feel and touch this world in a distinctive way, in my parent's way.
My parents are not highly educated, they barely made it through primary school, however, the way they look at life is so complete and i can tell they are still learning. Sometimes they just have to stop and reconsider their decisions, to think and learn from a situation they have never imagined. I think this is something not everyone is capable of, most of the times people just stick onto what they believe in and never try to accept anything else. People tend to condemn things or situations, make things impossible or create sharp edges. To my parents, anything is possible and they are just capable to make every edges soft.
Now that i'm 400km away from them, their presence in my heart are clearer than ever and i would want to keep and protect them no matter where i go.
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