Sunday, January 23, 2011

My stupid skin

As everyone know, i have to stop my studies because of my stupid skin problems, i didn't think i will have to come to this point, to stop school. The few days before my holiday starts, were the worst days of my life, i was alone, i can barely said i have a housemate, my skin falling apart and i myself can't bare the sight of my skin. I covered most of the infected areas of my skin, so i wear long sleeves and quarter pants everyday even at home. But the most unbearable of all, was the medicine i took, they make me go crazy, i cannot concentrate and all i want to do is to watch movies, to get away from this reality.

When i finally get home, my parents and family were sad to see me this way, they look for a thousand remedies to cure me, especially my dad, he was restless. Some of the remedies bring pain to my skin, cause it was all wounded, and because i had stopped taking all the medicines, it became hard for me to sleep, and i woke up in the middle of the night to scratch until i bleed. There goes the first 2 weeks of my holiday, slow and tear-full.

Because i want to stop school, i have to go back and settle my rented room. I have to admit it was very dusty, well, i was lazy and my fingers are full of wounds i don't dare to touch water. However, i feel the main reason is because my skin was so dry, when i scratch it brittle like biscuits all over the floor and everywhere else. I was scolded by my brother and everyone else because of the dust, which i didn't even want to explain to them afterwords. At first, i don't understand why i didn't try to explain myself, and i just found the answer today.( I'm real slow huh) I didn't explain because they already want to accuse me before i say anything, they already make me feel bad, what is the need of explaining? It won't reverse my feelings back, no it never will and i will only remember this forever.

Well, those scoldings just make me feel bad for a while, and i ignore them after that, because i know they still love me and its the same from me to them. I write all this down so that i will remember all these after i recover, remember my hell so i will be in heaven when i reach earth.
If you have been through heaven, earth is hell; if you have been through hell, earth is heaven.